My health and fitness journey exploded my freshman year of college. I retained the information and education in high school, but dove much deeper and developed a passion for my overall wellness in college. "A new year, a new me" kind of vibe- a fresh start as a “nobody” in college. A clean plate with no one to know my story, but I am here to share it today.
My story started, or ended, with a breakup. I would ask myself why not me? What does she have that I don't? Am I not pretty enough? Not skinny enough? What am I missing?
I started excessively working out, missing meals, and over analyzing my life. Overthinking is a killer, literally. I'd drop 5lbs, obsess with the scale, and cycle through all of this.
But what was "this"?
This wasn't healthy. This wasn't self-love. This wasn't Meg.
I know you may think this is stereotypical for a young female to go through “this” as they grow and maneuver through life, but it is so real, and let me tell you, it is hard.
“This” was lack of holding myself accountable for creating my OWN life. My own HAPPY, HEALTHY life. My one shot at living a beautiful life. I was the only person standing in the way of my goals. Deep down I knew this was an issue, but I didn’t feel it was time to fight against myself and my thoughts yet.
Halfway through my freshman year of college, I attended a school-wide presentation. This presentation was mandatory for freshmen, however I had good intentions of learning something from it.
At the end of the presentation, the presenter asked several people to come up on stage. He then proceeded to have the individuals tell him what their goal is in life; what they want to be.
“I want to be a doctor.”
“I want to be a physical therapist.”
“I want to be a nurse.”
Now you might think to yourself, these are awesome aspirations and goals, so what’s the point of this?
The presenter then continued… “Do you see something wrong with this?”
A bit puzzled, we sat there waiting for his next response.
“You will not reach your goals if you continue to want them to be achieved. You need to DO something about it. I’ll give you another chance to tell me your goal.”
“I want to be a doctor after college” the individual said, trying to be more specific.
The presenter chimed in sternly and said “you WILL be a doctor”.
We all want something in life. It seems like everyone wants to rich. Someone wants to be loved. Someone down the street wants to be famous. We live in a world of wants. When we start our goals with “I will”, we declare our commitment to our goals and ambitions. It is no longer an intent we are expressing – it is a promise. A promise to do whatever it takes to get to where we want to be.
Back to “this”.
What would I have to do to get to where I wanted to be? What will I be?
Strong. Passionate. Brave. Courageous. Happy. Healthy. Inspiring. Meg.
I realized I was doing everything wrong. I would tell myself that I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be fit, but I wasn’t doing the right thing. I wasn’t doing anything beneficial for my body.
Something needed to change.
I started writing daily affirmations;
I will fuel my body today the way it deserves.
I will be a light in someones day.
I will make myself a priority.
I will be happy, and I will be Meg.
The power of “I will” and manifesting your affirmations changes your life. This decision of changing one word helped shape me who I am today.
I am strong. I am passionate. I am brave. I am courageous. I am happy. I am healthy. I am inspiring. I am Meg.
So today I did a 5k race in the women’s half marathon in Niagara Falls. I have come to this race 3 times in 4 years. The first was my first ever half marathon. I was at my lowest weight and had been training prior to the the race. I walked a majority of the race but finished strong. It took me a little more than 3 hours, but I felt great about it. The second time by the time I hit the 5k turn around which would be 2.5 km in my shoe broke, but I continued on. The race took me almost 4 hours, but I crossed the finish line with a blister that covered the entire ball of my foot. I hadn’t done much training, but I was strong so powering though was doable. This time I had to reduce my race to a 5k because I have gained weight and was not feeling as strong as I had in the past. I had a goal of under 1 hour which I was able to accomplish. The time walking alone was good. I was able to be in my own head and realize that I was doing a 5k because I hadn’t paid attention to my fitness. People running by me patting me on the back saying you got this made me sad and angry at myself. It also has given me more motivation to get back to where I was when I did my first half. I had moments in the race where I found myself crying because I was so disappointed in myself.
I am now three weeks of increasing my exercise and trying to improve my nutrition. I feel better and my clothes are definitely fitting better. I am still struggling and have good and bad days with my nutrition. Today I realized the importance of logging. I have been able to tell myself that I have been doing a good job with my nutrition but when an objective person looked at my logs it was obvious that I have not been honest with myself. That “in your face” accountability is a motivation. So, this week I intend to log both with paper and pencil as well as journal how I am feeling and what I am thinking every day.